I recently went to a Catholic matchmaking event.
Did I experience so much grace there? YES!
Did I know that everyone’s faith fed off one another and grew? ABSOLUTELY!
Was I totally overwhelmed afterwards? Unfortunately, also yes…
I like to call myself an introvert “in the closet.” I’m very friendly, I’m usually the first to say hi to someone who looks like they need a friend, and I manage to look very comfortable in most social situations. So people tend to think I’m an extrovert.
But no. I need A LOT of time to recharge after a big group gathering.
And an event like this comes with an extra layer of pressure when there are so many single men around. My brain was in overdrive, analysing everyone’s every little microexpression and movement.
Are they nervous? How can I make them feel more at ease? What are their intentions?
The day after the event, I experienced an almost debilitating sense of mental and emotional exhaustion. My social battery was completely drained, but at the same time, my faith battery was fully charged!
I was emotionally exhausted, mentally overstimulated, and honestly, I didn’t know what to do with everything I was feeling. I didn’t know how to process any of it. My brain felt like a pot of soup, with every thought, question, and emotion swirling around together until I couldn’t make sense of anything anymore. (I don’t even like soup!!)
Why did these people add me as a contact or connect with me? Do they just want to be friends, or are they looking for something more? When is it appropriate to tell someone that I only want to be friends?
My mind was running in circles, trying to figure everything out before anything had even happened.
And then I realised something.
Perhaps I was so overwhelmed because I was looking around me more than I was looking UP.
I was so busy reading people’s expressions, analysing their intentions, and anticipating what might happen next. I had forgotten to look towards the One who could actually guide me through it all.
Wasn’t I supposed to be asking the Lord for guidance instead of trying to figure everything out on my own?
So I prayed and prayed. I also reached out to my spiritual director, and he said something really beautiful.
“The ball isn’t in your court, and the ball isn’t in their court, either.
Pass the ball to Jesus.”
-Fr. Rich Conlin
Isn’t that just right?
Sometimes, we get so caught up in trying to figure everything out. We overanalyse everything, anticipate every possible outcome, and try to make sure we don’t hurt anyone or lead anyone on. We want to make the right decisions, especially when it comes to something as important as discerning a potential spouse.
But perhaps we are trying to carry a responsibility that was never ours to carry alone.
Jesus is our teammate. He expects us to do our part, to be honest, to exercise good judgement, to communicate clearly, and to treat others with love. We still have to show up and play the game!
But we don’t have to play the entire game by ourselves.
We can pass the ball to Jesus. We can trust Him with the things we cannot know, the outcomes we cannot control, and the people whose hearts we cannot read.
Our job is not to figure out the whole story before the next page has even been written. Our job is to be faithful now, to exact step that He has placed before us.
So, if you’re like me, overthinking every interaction and trying to figure out where everything is going.. Playing out all the potential outcomes ten steps ahead in your mind like a never-ending TV series with way too many seasons, take a deep breath.
When you’re overwhelmed, keep your eyes on Heaven. Just look up.
Look up and ask the Lord for guidance. Look up and remember that you don’t have to know all the answers. Look up and trust that He sees the bigger picture, even when all you can see is the confusion right in front of you.
Do your part. Pray. Be honest. Love well.
And then pass the ball to Jesus.
He’s on your team, too.
Thanks for being here. God bless you!
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