All Roads Lead to Rome.. man Catholic Churches

My pilgrimage officially started today! (written on 2026/03/25) I’ve just arrived at an Opus Dei center in London that my friend, C, lives at this evening. Already, I’ve had the privilege of meeting and speaking with several numeraries. It’s been truly special.

One of them, H, has been a numerary for 50 years. We had such an unexpected and meaningful conversation tonight. We connected briefly over dinner, then we dumped into each other in the hallway and she just wanted to show me her workspace where she works on her tailoring business. From priests’ cassocks to wedding dresses, H breathes new life into the garments she touches. 

H shared so much wisdom with me, but what struck me most was her story.

H was staying at this center over five decades ago, back when it was it was also a hospitality college, when she was just sixteen. At first, she didn’t even realize this place was Catholic. Bit by bit, the Lord revealed the Work to her. 

Eventually, she joined Opus Dei and she began discerning her vocation. Deep down, she sensed that God might be calling her to be a numerary, but that wasn’t what she wanted at the time. She had always imagined a life with a family and children. She even hoped to be a supernumerary instead. She shared the tremendous resistance she felt at obeying the Lord’s will. Over time, it became clearer and clearer that this was what the Lord was asking of her. And eventually, she surrendered. 

She looked me in the eyes and said several times, “Lucy, don’t rush.”

That stayed with me.

“Just be a good professional. God’s desire for you will reveal itself over time.” When I close my eyes, I can almost see her firm, steady gaze. 

She encouraged me to focus on my career in this season of my life. Not just good, but excellent. To sanctify my everyday work. To listen closely to the Lord’s will, and to trust that clarity will come in time. I’m still so green in the faith, not even being baptised one year yet. There’s no need to force anything. No need to be anxious. 

What she said about temperance and freedom also really struck me.

She explained that part of the beauty of discernment is that God gives us real freedom. For example, someone can choose to live simply, not because they have no choice, but because they freely desire to live with less. That choice itself is meaningful. It becomes an offering.

Whereas if someone has very little simply because they have no choice, there isn’t the same element of freedom in it. The external outcome may look similar, but internally it’s very different. One is chosen, the other is not.

That distinction stayed with me.

It led me to reflect more honestly on my own discernment, especially around religious life.

Am I drawn to it because I genuinely feel called?

Or am I drawn to it because it feels structured, clear, and in some ways… easier?

Not easier in the sense that it isn’t demanding, because it is. Being a religious sister requires serious hard work and discipline. But easier in the sense that it offers a defined path. A framework to lean on.

Whereas living as a layperson requires constant choosing. Every day, in small and big ways, choosing God again and again in the midst of the world. In the middle of competing values, distractions, and pressures. 

My mind is more than a little blown by this.

I’ve always thought that discerning religious life was the more radical, more surrendered path. But now I’m starting to wonder… could part of me be drawn to it because it feels more controlled? More defined?

Is it possible that, in some subtle way, I’m grasping for structure… instead of fully trusting the Lord in the unknown?

That question unsettles me.

Because living as a layperson means stepping into a kind of openness where nothing is laid out for you. You have to keep choosing, discerning, surrendering… again and again, without a clear script.

And maybe that’s where trust is stretched the most.

That kind of freedom is beautiful, but also challenging.

And so I’m sitting with that question more honestly now.

Not rushing.

Not forcing an answer.

Just listening.

And trusting that, like H said, the Lord will make it clear in His time.

Thanks for reading. God bless!